I am about to reveal a deep, dark secret about myself. Are you ready? I don't like recycling. I know this is semi-irrational, but it's true. I don't like it, and here's why: I don't trust it. I mean, it would be one thing if I could put my soda can (Diet Coke, please) in the bin, have it carted away, and two months later or something, go visit it in its new life as a hubcap or cufflink or new soda can, but I can't, and that makes me nervous. I have faith in a lot of things: God, Jesus, the postal service, most of the medical profession. I just don't feel the same way about recycling. It seems to good to be true, that I could throw a hot mix of cardboard, metal and plastic into the blue bin each week and somehow this will save the earth.
My other problem with recycling is that I think it creates a sort of laziness. You know, like this. After all, it's reduce, then reuse, then recycle. It's better to throw something in the recycling than in the trash (provided it's actually recyclable), but really it's better not to throw things anywhere. Companies promote their products as being packaged in recyclable material, which bypasses the question of why we need so much packaging in the first place. Seriously, Amazon, did my new pair of socks really need bubble wrap and a cardboard box?
Someone I know and live with (ahem) is concerned that this post will make me seem snobbish and/or discourage people from recycling. So, hear me when I say that if you are outside my house and trying to decide if you should recycle your beer bottle or throw it on my lawn, please, I implore you, recycle. If you really want to be my new best friend, though, brew your own beer. I'll bring over my empty bottles and you can fill them back up for me. Together, we can make recycling obsolete.